A few months ago, my youngest sister felt that we as a family needed to spend more time together.
So, at her suggestion, my siblings and I started a practice of meeting on Zoom once a month to catch up and keep in touch. There are six of us and we live in different parts of the country.
On one recent call, my sister asked that we engage in an activity which she entitled, "Give Them Their Flowers Now." She asked that we take turns sharing things about each other that we admired or appreciated; something positive, something funny that we remembered either in childhood or more recently. She said that people often wait until their loved one is deceased before they speak to how much they loved and appreciated them. And, unfortunately, they never get to hear it.
It was not an easy ask. My sister didn’t know how her request would be received. Would everyone participate? What would we say? Would anyone disconnect from the call?
As a family, we are pretty connected. When possible, we get together for holidays, birthdays, weddings, funerals, even some vacations, and other family celebrations. However, we’ve had our share, as families often do, of sibling rivalry, being offended, misunderstandings, distancing, and disagreements.
My sister broke the ice with a few jokes, and we dove in - each taking turns to listen to what the others had to say about us. We granted each sibling our observations, recollections, memories, and experiences that brought us delight, hearty laughs, or a special memory. We talked about each other’s strengths, humor, loyalty, protective nature, and generosity.
We each listened intently – not knowing what to expect. The words were comforting, healing, and encouraging. They reminded us of fun times together ... we laughed and dabbed at tears. We said, ‘thank you’, ‘you remember that?’ we sighed ‘oooohhhhs and aaaahhhs’ and expressed our gratitude for the kind words spoken.
That day will forever be etched in my memory as a special time between the six of us. I’m still reminiscing about the words spoken to me by my five siblings. There’s a renewed connection between us and I am genuinely grateful for my sister having the courage to initiate these get-togethers that serve to bring us even closer.